Thank You Julio!

I love the t.v. show "The Biggest Loser" - this is the first season that I don't eat a big bowl of ice cream when I watch it =). Tonight Julio was eliminated - kind of a goofy guy who ended up surprising the heck out of me. Anyhoo, in his update of where he is now (which, I believe is down 108 pounds) he said that what changed for him was his mindset - that the people that loved him were still going to love him whether he was fat or skinny, that it didn't matter to them. Isn't that the truth? I finally realized that for myself a few months ago - I tried to make losing weight about everyone but me, that my poor husband was married to a fatty, that my kids friends would probably make fun of their chubby mom, and the list goes on and on. But I realize that is completely untrue - and when I accepted the fact that my weight ultimately only really mattered to me, I had a decision to make - and that decision was/is to love myself. I have changed. Things will be hard. But life is hard - being a mother is hard, downright difficult, but I find my greatest joys in my children; being a wife is hard, but being committed to my sweetheart brings me such comfort, love and peace. Working out for 2 hours a day is hard, but it is bringing out the qualities in me that have always existed, but I chose to ignore because eating was easier. My weaknesses are becoming my strengths - not overnight, but that's okay, because loving myself now means I am learning to love myself where I'm at in my life, being grateful for what I have, and going from there.

This is me now.