This Week....

I decided I would post my meal plan for the next week - part KristiApproved part EmilyApproved (ha!ha!):

Breakfast: Kristi Burrito
Morning Snack (pre-workout): Blueberry or Banana protein shake
Lunch: Kristi Cheesy Tacos and 1/2 pear
Afternoon Snack 1: 1/2 c. kashi and 100-cal yogurt
Afternoon Snack 2: 1/2 pear & string cheese
Dinner: Kristi BBQ Chicken,beans and barley
Evening Snack: Edamame (1 costco bag) and Healthy Choice Fudge Bar

My goal for the week is to keep my calorie count around 1800 calories.

Major victory for me that I forgot to mention last week - I was in DESPARATE need of a new swimsuit and I was able to buy a size 18 tankini from Target along with size 18 swim shorts. I love them and can't believe I can shop off the rack at a "regular" store. Wahoo!!!!

This is a picture of me and my beautiful sis Melissa (aka Glamazon) from our trip last weekend in St. George - Mel has lost 25 (?) pounds over the last few months. Love you sis!

this is me now.

Now I Get It.....

Have you ever read any of the success stories in Shape magazine? Have you noticed that some of the ladies that lost a lot of weight (100 pounds or more) lost it in like 12 months and other ladies it took like 2+ years? I never understood how it could take someone 2 or 3 years to get to their goal weight - especially at the beginning of my journey when I was super focused and dropping my pounds each week. I honestly figured I would be at my goal weight by June of this year.

Now I understand what took some of those girls so long - because a lot of us (okay, me) struggle. Life is definitely a journey - and so is losing weight. This commitment I've made to being and doing better isn't a race - there WAS a starting line, but there certainly ISN'T a finish line. I need to remind myself of this - keep pushing along and trying my best because eventually it will all click again. There just isn't a lot of clicking right now. And that's okay - for now. Because every struggle I've been through has made me stronger (and eventually smarter).

this is me now.

Come On

I am a pretty irregular poster. My sister Melissa - the awesome Glamazon - informed me that I would have more followers, comments, etc. if I posted 3 or more times a week. She is absolutely right. Right now my 9 followers are lucky to get 1 post per week. It honestly depends on how well I'm doing in my "journey". I feel the absolute need to only post when I've overcome something - not when I'm knee deep in it. My weight loss has been pretty much at a snail's pace for the past 5 months. I am really struggling. I went home to Utah at the end of February and ate just like I used to. It took me a full week to get back to my pre-trip weight. I have been having great weeks eating wise and the weekends are KILLING me. I went to St. George to hang out with the fam this past weekend and once again ate like the old Em. Apparently old habits die HARD - or in my case - resurrect themselves every weekend. I have been SO hard on myself, wondering what my big, FAT problem is? I feel better than I have in years - and I know that if I can get my thinking back on track, my possibilities and opportunities are endless. And yet, I struggle daily.

Today I had an ACTUAL epiphany as I was gagging down 3/4's of my Whopper(seriously, why did I buy that for lunch?) I was thinking about how people always say they want to live their lives with no regrets. I am one of those people who has many regrets and prays for do-overs. Anyway, I was thinking about how I totally feel bad (aka regret) when I eat my way through the weekend without thinking about how I'll feel Monday morning when according to the scale I have to start over AGAIN and lose the same weight I lost last week. I regret my lunch choices yesterday AND today.

Okay, here's the epiphany part: But, I definitely don't regret going to the gym today. I NEVER regret going to the gym. I NEVER regret eating a healthy meal. I NEVER regret drinking a ton of water or going to bed a little early. I almost ALWAYS regret eating crap, skipping a workout, not drinking my water - especially on the weekends, and staying up too late watching t.v. Maybe living my life with no regrets - okay maybe just some regrets - is going to require me to think about the after. How will I be feeling an hour from now after I ate (insert any and all trigger food/junk/crap that keeps me from my goals)? If the answer is BAD, maybe that choice should be rethought.

I will be posting more often. I'm sure (well, I'm hoping) that posting about my struggles, etc. 10 months in will be helpful to you - I know that honesty will help me.

this is me now.

P.S. My good friend Desi (grew up with her kids, LOVE them) left a comment on my blog a couple of posts ago and in it she mentioned that she just celebrated her 2 year anniversary without soda. That is SUCH a HUGE accomplishment and I just wanted to tell her how proud I am of her. All of my memories of Desi when I was growing up include her with a diet coke - so that is just an amazing thing she has done and is doing! Love you Des! The 43 pounds ain't too shabby either =)

DISCIPLINE

I have a friend in Idaho who is a very Type A personality. Very organized, very focused, very disciplined etc. I felt quite inadequate when comparing our days - hers were filled with running, lifting weights, eating good food, kayaking, hiking - you get the picture. My days were filled with eating, watching t.v., playing with the kids and praying for their nap/bedtime so I could eat some more food and watch me some more t.v. And then I would have a pity party as I would watch my friend when we would get together for playgroups or at church and think to myself - I really WISH I could be disciplined like Yvonne, she is so LUCKY to just be like that. Somewhere along the way I started believing that having discipline was something you were born with like brown hair or blue eyes.

I now understand and know that discipline takes effort - it takes doing something over and over - and while doing that something over and over again is what helps you become disciplined when it comes to that certain thing. I feel that I am quite disciplined when it comes to my time in the gym - I really love going and have been doing it long enough that I enjoy finding new ways to really challenge myself. I'm trying (super hard) to be disciplined with my eating. In my opinion consistency = discipline. It's not just going to happen, people aren't just born with it, and it's something ALL of us can have. We just have to be willing to put in the work - put in the time, make the effort and know that unless you do that you won't just wake up one day with it - not gonna happen.

On another note, I have made the decision to get a little bit of help in the food/meal department. My tweeks, which absolutely helped my lose my first 60 pounds, are just not enough anymore. My sister Ashley introduced me to the program KristiApproved-Live the Life. These two women (Kristi and Trish) have come up with some rockin' recipes that are filling, delicious and easy with most calorie counts coming in around 200-240 for all meals. I have been doing it off and on for the last few weeks and have committed myself to their 12 week program starting Monday. If any of you are interested in seeing what it's all about, go to www.kristiapproved.com and take a look. They offer a free 7 day workbook (downloads to your computer) that provides you with recipes for 7 days and exercise also. I really like it - it is a program that works with my beliefs as a Latter-Day Saint. I'm really excited to see where the next 12 weeks will take me. And I'm NOT doing this out of desperation, I'm just ready to step it up another level.

this is me now.