Overwhelmed.....

It gets a little overwhelming sometimes when I actually realize that I have lost over 50 pounds - that's a lot of weight and it takes me by surprise sometimes. I went to join a group on the Livestrong website and I bypassed the 100+ pounds to lose group because I no longer need to lose 100+ pounds. It's only 65 now. I can't believe how fast the time has gone - and the funny thing is that these past 6 months would have gone by whether I made the decision to change or not.

My sweet sister Ashley listens to my "victories" almost every day - she has been asking me questions lately about how my weightloss has affected me spiritually, emotionally and physically. She asked me the physically and emotionally ones yesterday and it was nice to really think about those and give her my honest answers. Emotionally I feel at PEACE with who I am and where I'm headed with regards to my body. I honestly believe that I will feel the same about myself when I reach my goal of 180 as I do right now at 245.4 (that's right, I'm down 2 more pounds). I don't feel "super" excited or "really" down about my weight anymore (95% of the time)- I feel peaceful and happy. I feel like I can look at things a lot more realistically now - I used to blow everything out of proportion, i.e. I just ate my weight in ice cream so I'll stop doing all of the good things I was doing for myself like exercising, drinking lots of water, etc. and just go on a "bender" until January - then I'll change. Now when I have a rough day, days, or week, I know from experience that things will get better - but not by ignoring them. By still exercising, still drinking my water, and eating better. I don't have that all-or-nothing approach anymore.

Physically I am amazed at what my body can do. I am shocked at how much stronger I am - at how quickly my body adapts as I push myself. I LOVE the gym. I love pushing myself and "secretly" competing with the people next to me - they may not realize it, but by pushing themselves they are pushing me too. I am comfortable doing this because it IS who I am. I just forgot about this part of myself for 8 years and it's so nice to have me back.

Speaking of Ashley, she called me a couple of weeks ago with a new creation that is absolutely fabulous. You know how I love my spinach......well, she had me do the following:

2 huge handfuls of spinach
1 can of tuna, drained
mix tuna with 2 T. bbq sauce (I just used cheapie Kraft)
Chop up one string cheese (I used a cheddar stick, same calories)
5-6 chopped baby carrots
1 T. ranch

Pile everything on top of the spinach (I put the tuna/bbq on last) and then sprinkle with the tablespoon of ranch. Hello - SO GOOD!!!!!


Give it a try - it's a pretty cheap lunch and very filling! Good job Ash!