Has Anyone Seen This Girl?

I seem to have lost her - not literally of course, I would have some explaining to do, but my dear little Whitney weighs approximately 52 pounds and I have lost 52 pounds...... Which gives me something nice to think about given my tough (sniff, sniff) week. I am feeling much better - much like my old, new self. Which is fabulous. I rented a carpet cleaner from the grocery store yesterday and had to fill out my drivers license info on the form. I whipped out my license, which I got the first week of October and my weight is listed as 263 - which was 100% true at that point. I had another mini victory at the store as I realized that I now weigh 18 pounds LESS than what my drivers license says - wahoo!!! I'm done tooting my own horn and patting my own back. I just really needed that this week.

Anyhoo, I am looking forward to a new week. I am going back to a good ole pb&j sandwich for lunch this week. I get the Kirkland brand multi-grain bread and it is SO healthy and SO inexpensive. I always toast my bread - I love the extra crunch. I am moving my 100-cal spinach salad to an afternoon snack with an activia yogurt. Should be a good week as we gear-up for the holidays =).

this is me now

Honestly.....

I need a break - a break from being a mom, a break from being a wife, a break from being me! Anyone else feel this way? I tend to get these not so special/nice feelings a few days before my "lady visit" each month. Augghhhh!!!! It is funny how I can literally change over night - everything makes me cry or angry, and on top of that I am SO tired - but I know I will feel better within 1 to 2 days (was that too much info dad??? Sorry!) My cravings are definitely up this month compared to the last few and I'm not sure if it's because of the added stress of making Christmas magical and wonderful for the kids because that's my job or what, but I could probably eat my way through a whole pizza and polish off a bowl of ice cream without missing a beat - but I haven't, and I won't, but I'll think about it...... Today was my spin class and I absolutely adore it/loathe it. I can't believe how much stronger the old legs are getting and how much better my form is if I do say so myself - anybody taken a class and tried to get the C curve in the back while keeping your upper body relaxed, elbows bent, keeping your feet "elliptical" and actually pay attention to what is going on? I can now proudly say that I do! (sorta).....

In other news, Corinne over at the Phit-N-Phat blog - once again, can't figure out how to make it a link in my post - is offering a 12 week e-mail workshop for FREE starting in January, all you have to do is e-mail this absolutely amazing woman and she will send you the goods! Honestly, this lady is quite the inspiration - take a gander at her blog on my sidebar. She has lost over 100 pounds, now does figure competitions, all while being a mom to her son Logan, helping HER mom (or mammy as she calls her) reach her weightloss goals, and works tirelessly to help and inspire other women - and she even eats CANNED vegetables. Definitely my kind of lady!

Here's hoping I am back to my "normal" self soon!

this is me now

Overwhelmed.....

It gets a little overwhelming sometimes when I actually realize that I have lost over 50 pounds - that's a lot of weight and it takes me by surprise sometimes. I went to join a group on the Livestrong website and I bypassed the 100+ pounds to lose group because I no longer need to lose 100+ pounds. It's only 65 now. I can't believe how fast the time has gone - and the funny thing is that these past 6 months would have gone by whether I made the decision to change or not.

My sweet sister Ashley listens to my "victories" almost every day - she has been asking me questions lately about how my weightloss has affected me spiritually, emotionally and physically. She asked me the physically and emotionally ones yesterday and it was nice to really think about those and give her my honest answers. Emotionally I feel at PEACE with who I am and where I'm headed with regards to my body. I honestly believe that I will feel the same about myself when I reach my goal of 180 as I do right now at 245.4 (that's right, I'm down 2 more pounds). I don't feel "super" excited or "really" down about my weight anymore (95% of the time)- I feel peaceful and happy. I feel like I can look at things a lot more realistically now - I used to blow everything out of proportion, i.e. I just ate my weight in ice cream so I'll stop doing all of the good things I was doing for myself like exercising, drinking lots of water, etc. and just go on a "bender" until January - then I'll change. Now when I have a rough day, days, or week, I know from experience that things will get better - but not by ignoring them. By still exercising, still drinking my water, and eating better. I don't have that all-or-nothing approach anymore.

Physically I am amazed at what my body can do. I am shocked at how much stronger I am - at how quickly my body adapts as I push myself. I LOVE the gym. I love pushing myself and "secretly" competing with the people next to me - they may not realize it, but by pushing themselves they are pushing me too. I am comfortable doing this because it IS who I am. I just forgot about this part of myself for 8 years and it's so nice to have me back.

Speaking of Ashley, she called me a couple of weeks ago with a new creation that is absolutely fabulous. You know how I love my spinach......well, she had me do the following:

2 huge handfuls of spinach
1 can of tuna, drained
mix tuna with 2 T. bbq sauce (I just used cheapie Kraft)
Chop up one string cheese (I used a cheddar stick, same calories)
5-6 chopped baby carrots
1 T. ranch

Pile everything on top of the spinach (I put the tuna/bbq on last) and then sprinkle with the tablespoon of ranch. Hello - SO GOOD!!!!!


Give it a try - it's a pretty cheap lunch and very filling! Good job Ash!