These past 6 weeks have been interesting....actually more like the past 4 weeks. The first 2 of the 6 weeks since I've posted were pretty much like most of my year has been...... struggling like crazy just to "maintain" or not gain too much weight. I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, but this changing my life and being different and focusing on the journey and not the destination crap is HARD.
It's hard to find new ways to motivate myself, it's hard coming up with new routines at the gym, it's hard driving home from a trip to Target or Costco and not stopping at McDonald's for lunch, it's hard to lose 63 pounds and then gain some of them back and fluctuate between a 55 pound and 60 pound loss for 6 freakin' months (that's not just hard, it totally sucks too!)
But it's also definitely hard to be so heavy that you only have 3 shirts to wear, it's hard to be so big that all you do is sweat - doesn't matter if it's the middle of summer or the middle of winter, it's hard to LOOK at yourself at 297 pounds and feel like an absolute failure.
Both things are hard - it's hard to change and it's just as hard to stay the same..... I guess it just depends on how "hard" I want my life to be.
Well, I've kept going and it finally clicked again.... thanks in part to my sister, the beautiful Glamazon , we had a conversation about a month ago and she was telling me about how much weight she had been losing and in the middle of our convo I recognized her journey because it was a lot like mine - more like the 2009 journey and not so much the 2010 journey - and all of a sudden everything clicked again! As of Saturday I weighed in at 234.4 - I have lost almost 8 pounds in the last 4 weeks. I feel happy and focused and driven....I feel like my old, new self. I have some new favorites - as in breakfast, lunch and snacks that I will be posting about later this week...promise!
That is so awesome! It's so hard to keep it going and you are so inspiring!
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