i'm here. i'm still working hard. i'm still pursuing my goals. we moved to las vegas on January 30th and it has been quite the adjustment for me weightloss wise. I really love it here - love our house, love the neighborhood, the area we live in, the weather, etc. But it was still a big change and transition not only for my family but for me as an individual - I just figured I would transition smoothly and go on with what I was doing over in Arizona. I was wrong. The gym I go to now is amazing - everything I could want, right at my fingertips - and my baby has a great time in their daycare which is fabulous. But Vegas is filled with something that my little area of Arizona was not - people. TONS of people. The gym gets pretty packed and I have to admit that I was very intimidated up until a couple of days ago. There are a lot of women that have gorgeous bodies, gorgeous hair, gorgeous tans, outfits, teeth, boobs, you get the picture. So when I showed up with my 55 pound weightloss (my badge of honor) it didn't mean anything to the people there - they aren't super impressed with me because they don't know how far I've come like my workout friends at the YMCA. So I felt very out of place, fat, weird, etc. and I instantly started comparing myself to the people around me - SO stupid! I spent a week thinking like the old Emily (just ask my sister) and really worried that I would be gaining those 55 pounds back with a vengence because mentally I had hit a gigantic wall. And I was eating my feelings - again. For the first time in 8 1/2 months I didn't want to go to the gym. Never thought that would happen. But I still went. Because the new me found a way to reach the old me and tell her to shut it! Losing weight and being successful at it - at least for me - is such a mental game. Learning to talk positively and realistically to myself has made such a difference in my life. This move has taught me that life throws you curveballs. Being on a schedule is SO great, but what happens when you can't be on one for a while? What work are you doing to strengthen yourself mentally for when things happen? Because they do.
this is me now.
I'm so grateful with how honest you are with your posts! I think it's so important for all of us to remember there will be ups and downs with our goals. You are an inspiration Em!
ReplyDeleteEmily, You are amazing! You are helping me more than you could ever know. I seem to lose 20-30 lbs. every other year. Lose-gain-lose-gain cycle. It's ugly. I've come to admit to myself that I am a food addict. I want to have a complete lifestyle change. It honestly scares me. I'm still trying to get thru day by day & figure out how to prepare myself to get thru the maintenance issues once and for all. when I started losing weight 5 weeks ago, I read your blog about what we wish for but not doing anything about it. That really struck me. It helped me get thru the first day, then the second. I've lost 13 lbs. now (21 since last April). I lost internet for 3 weeks. The last post I read was when you were at the grocery store and could feel your barriers breaking down with your cravings. I was so happy to read that you are on track. Losing weight is so hard and yet so rewarding. I love being in control. Thanks for your posts. I so look forward to reading each and every one. Love Ya, Siri
ReplyDeleteWow! Thanks so much Siri! Congrats on the 21 pounds! When I am able to look at my health as a lifelong endeavor it helps me get back on track with the changes I have felt comfortable making and push forward. Thanks again!
ReplyDeleteEmily,
ReplyDeleteI found your blog through your sis meliss. She and I are blog buddies and as soon as we meet we'll be finishing each others sentences and braiding each others hair by the end of the night. I fell in love with your blog as I read through it because not only can I very much relate, you've inspired me and boosted me up out of my pity party when I read. My biggest burden on my shoulders is the feeling that I HAVE to lose weight....so, I bully myself into it, telling myself the mean terrible things in order to will myself to get it done. It hardly works because by the time I'm done with a 'Pep-talk', I feel so terrible that I want to do nothing. I'm overwhelmed with the huge number on the scale, and the huge amount of weight that needs to come off. It's been such a slow process, and a huge struggle. It doesn't help when my relatives make it look SO DAMN EASY. Enough about me, this is about you.
You've shown me that with consistency, the progress will show. The mental games are part of it, but you just push through it!
Way to go!!
Jame -
ReplyDeleteYour comment brought tears to my eyes. I totally get those "pep talks" that are supposed to make you want to stop eating and exercise for 4 hours a day - only all they ended up making me do was want to eat because I felt so bad about it. If you can be consistent in a couple of healthy habits and go from there you will see results and actually feel good about yourself! The most important thing I think you can do is start by loving and accepting yourself and focus on the good you are doing instead of what you're not!
And when you do meet Mel you will love her and laugh your butt off because that's what we do when we are together! Have a great day!