I used to feel like I was wishing my life away. I wish I could lose 100 pounds, I wish I was a better mother, I wish I read my scriptures more, I wish I was out of debt, I wish, I wish, I wish....... The problem with wishing is that it is totally unproductive - I would wish for the above mentioned things and then wait.and wait. and wait. Because for some reason I honestly felt like things would "just happen". I would wake up one day and NOT go to Maverik and get a donut, breakfast sandwich, and xlarge coke after I dropped the twins off at preschool. I would wake up one day and have an overwhelming desire to exercise, study my scriptures instead of watch tv, not spend money on crap and have the patience of Mother Theresa with my kids. I was basically living in a "delusion-ville" where great things happened magically.
I have found that just by saying something - putting it out there for people to hear - doesn't mean it's going to happen. Just because I say I want to be a better mother (which I'm sure I'll be wanting to be for the rest of my life) doesn't mean I'm going to be if I don't put in the effort. If I don't have a plan. Same with losing weight. Until I had a REALISTIC plan that I can follow for the rest of my life, which I'm pretty sure I do, that weight wasn't going to come off. Until those credit cards were cut up and I stopped deluding myself with UNREAL expectations (like winning the lottery, getting a gigantic tax return) we were not going to be headed in the right direction to get out of debt. Anything worth having will take work. Anything worth keeping will be a challenge. I finally had to ask myself if I was willing to put in the time, make the plan, and see it through the parts that were hard. And when I finally did that, things started happening. Great things, amazing things, wonderful things. I am more shocked at how I USED to live my life than how much I've changed. Things are no longer left up to chance. I've realized my life has to be lived with purpose, with effort, with a plan. Whewwww!
this is me now
I love this post Em, it's exactly what we were talking about yesterday! It is so true, anything worth having is going to take a lot of effort: relationships, staying strong in the gospel, staying healthy. You nailed it sister! I can't wait to see you in 5 short months! I hope I recognize you :)
ReplyDeleteWOW! You look fantastic! I am so excited to "hit the gym" with you, I am sure you'll run laps around me! I am looking for houses whoo hooo!
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